Girlfriend 1.0

To: Tech Support

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources.No mention of this phenomenon
was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during system initialization where it monitors all other
system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and
Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but uninstall does
not work on this program. Can you help me?

-- Jonathan Powell


To: Mr. Powell

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly
due to a primary misconception. Many men upgrade from
Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a
"UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program from
the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0
because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to
install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than
original system. Look in your manual under Warnings - Alimony /
Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the
situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read
the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs).
You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that
might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize
button then reset button as soon as lockup occurs. System will
run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.

-- Tech Support