The Devilish Wish. (Forum game)

This is an attempt to revive the forums, by adding something to do here.

The game is very easy. You grant the wish from the previous reply, but add a hook in it. And then wish something yourself.
Example:

I wish I had the tastiest hamburger in the world right in front of me.

Next reply:

Wish granted - You have the tastiest hamburger in the world right in front of you but it's poisoned.
I wish I had superpowers.

And so on.

I'll start:

I wish I was a ninja.

Wish granted, but your not a good ninja, very terrible to be honest!

i wish i had a lightsaber!

Wish granted, you now have a lightsaber, but you turn out to be Lukes long lost brother, once you met him it made you feel close to him and you had sex with him. After finding out he's your brother you ended yourself.

I wish there was a cure for cancer.

Wish granted but the cure turns all the people into zombies and they eat up the world

I wish the server was on

Wish granted, but you are all alone and nobody else is on.

I wish i was smarter

Wish granted, but that automatically turns you into scienotogist, atheist or buddhist. You now longer believe in God.

I wish for my headaches to stop.

wish granted, you got it removed with instant death from a unkown source

i wish i was rich

wish granted, but you get it in pennies.

I wish I had telepathy.

Wish granted, but your telepathic powers turned out to be so great that you crushed your own skull with it
i wish i ruled my own country

Wish granted, but your country is located somewhere in the middle of Sahara desert and it has no resources or people on it. Also it doesn't have any water sources.

I wish I had all the Lego in the world

Wish granted, but you locked yourself in your room for 3 days now and forgot to drink and eat. You died.

i wish i had a death star

wish granted, sadly rebels come and grief it with tnt. it blows wide open.

I WISH BARON WERE HERE

Wish granted, but afterwards you noticed it was just a hallucination because of not seeing him for that long time.

i wish the internet never excisted

wish granted, you never met anyone but your parents because you were so bored.
I wish i was unkillable

wish granted but when u became unkillable you looks very ugly

I WISH I HAD A LIFE SUPPLY OF NOT SALTED CHICKENS

Wish granted, but they overrun your house and peck you to death.
I wish greifers never existed.

wish granted, griefing is so december 2010, Trolling is not totally hot!

I wish i had puke in my hair

wish granted but the puke turns into acid and eats u alive
I wish i had a non salted chicken coop filled with godzilla zombie chickens

wish granted. they/it ate you alive

i wish i had a stable internet

wish granted but it exploded in ur face
i wish that .....

Wish Granted, but ..... Turn into bullets and go through your face.

I wish the server would turn on.

Wish granted, but after 1 hour it turns off again for 2 days
i wish i was a god

wish granted, you get ported up in the skies into the skyes and your alone in a empire, alll alone. FOREVER!

i wish the minecraft forum had less trolls

Wish granted, but hordes of goblins now invade forums. You know how nasty those things can be.

I wish I had a machine that could make me tea with lemon.

Wish granted, but it turns into a Decepticon and sprays you with jets of boiling hot tea.
I wish that the major games industry would stop recycling every good game into umpteen billion sequels.